BY: Sanjeev Batra
I may be putting myself on the line here, but I’m going to say it anyway. There is really no comparison with old love. Someone who knows each and every detail about you, not because you remind them, but because they have paid attention.
Companions who have noticed the storms in your eyes, the silences in your voice and the heaviness in your heart, and realised that love will never be perfect, but have decided to put in the effort to make it work for them. If you loved someone, you told them, and never left words unspoken. Discovered that if you wish to go fast, go alone; but if you wish to go far, go together. After being through the ups and downs of life, it is now tempered with compassion, and the two souls are in perfect sync with each other.
The warmth of spending many winters cuddled up with each other, growing a family together while maturing and understanding that not everything requires a reaction. The quarrels and fights have been overtaken by adaptability and understanding. The Universe has fought for two souls to be together, enveloping and accepting the dark and the light within each other.
There is something quick in showing your emotion by sending an emoticon, but that can never replace the gentle touch of a hand, a caress, a feeling of physical being and actual presence. Some seem to have bigger hearts and can encompass more than one love (lust?) simultaneously. The socialite doyen who has a string of broken marriages and live-ins, and seems to be flitting from bed to bed in a flourish of relationships that she flaunts, is the stuff that serves as examples of what’s going wrong in this world and its relationships!
In today’s world, technology has taken over our lives, leaving little or no time to be with each other. No time to whisper the hundreds of things that mean thousands of somethings. Instant responses, reactions and emoticons are the order of the day. Privacy and discretion are waived away at the altar of being accepted. Truly, relationships are more difficult now as conversations are overtaken by texting, arguments are carried out over phone calls, and feelings have became status updates.
However, the fact that the young follow a different path does not mean that they are lost. Their resilience surprises me. They trust the timing in which things are happening and an invisible thread connects them with their love – It may stretch but seldom breaks. They may be sad, disappointed, heartbroken, or even scared, yet they wake up with renewed hope, a will to vigourously fight on and not give up! They focus on building anew, not fighting the old. Mature beyond their age, they are capable of loving people from a distance, keeping them in prayers, yet, may take a path that’s different and diverse.
Being practical people, they’ve realised that to love a person is to love them as they are and not the way you would like them to be. They accept the good with its faulty lines and scars. Is it true love then – that does not demand, is without stress and is free-flowing? No. But then, that’s the new love and life. Live in the moment.
The acceptance of love in their lives in the form it manifests, and their core strength in the age of Tinder and Dating Apps, may have instant gratification, but will surely leave a hollow that only time will show. Even so, they have adapted to the fact that it does not end with one bad chapter in your life, and life goes on. The recent news of the run-away-tycoon who’s hoping to be third time lucky in marriage seems simply to fill a void in his life, and does not seem to be true love. But who knows what makes the heart grow fonder and why?
In each generation, one finds one’s own balance in life. The young have found it quicker, faster, and with their own understanding. They understand the old ways but shun them, prefer to carve their own niche and view their world differently. Illusions have given way to reality and they live life beautifully with their companions, enjoying their inner peace.
In the end, isn’t that what love is all about?